Motherhood in Quarantine
Vian Studios continuing series of blogs about creativity in this time of quarantine has inspired me to interview a long time friend, Aidan, about motherhood, parenting , and the helpfulness of Facetime. Aidan’s 7 year old son Milo, was also one of our first face mask models for Vian Studios.
I remember how hard your pregnancy was 7 years ago, could you tell me a little bit about it?
I had preeclampsia which is a rare complication found in pregnant women. I started to show symptoms at week 29 of my pregnancy, and then quickly became very ill. My Kidney shut down and I went into shock so they had to do an emergency c-section 11 weeks early to avoid me having a seizure and losing Milo and/or my own life. He was born on Mothers Day 7 years ago! He spent 2 months in the hospital until he was able to eat and breath on his own without his oxygen levels dropping. His dad was not able to be there at the birth so I had my mom as my support. It was one of the most difficult times of my life but I am stronger because of it, and Milo is so tall and healthy now you would never guess he came into the world at only 3 pounds! Someone was definitely watching out for us, we are lucky we made it!
When Covid19 became news, and lockdowns started, how did it affect you and Milo?
Milo is such a social kid, so not being able to play with his friends and having to do online schooling was very rough for him. Neither myself nor my boyfriend Michael had jobs that we could do from home on top of navigating several hours of online school with a Kindergartener at the same time, so my mom helped him with the school aspect. My parents are at a higher risk so that meant if Milo was going to go to their house for home-schooling, then he could not come back and forth between our houses since I had to go into the office every day and risk being exposed and bringing the virus home with me. I work in a medical office and am considered an essential worker, so going into work every day was a requirement. Milo’s world was turned upside down and he did not know how to express his feelings properly so he acted out frequently. He didn't fully understand what was happening in the world. He only understood that there was a virus making people sick, and staying home from school was necessary to keep him and everyone else around him healthy. My parents were rock stars for taking over the schooling and caring for him. I don't know what we would have done without them!
How long were you and Milo apart? Were you able to see each other if social distancing?
We were apart for 3 months. It was very painful for our family but we knew we were doing the right thing. Milo was able to have constant help and guidance with his online schooling and no one would be at risk of bringing the virus to my parents house. We were able to sit in the backyard 6 feet apart every weekend and I would trail behind him for bike rides around the neighborhood. We even had to celebrate his birthday in the backyard 6 feet apart which was sad but he was still so happy to be able to celebrate, even though none of his friends could attend. The worst part was not being able to hug or kiss him. It felt so unnatural. Luckily we live in a time where FaceTime and messenger are a thing. I looked forward to his silly and weird messages and photos he would send me all day long. One time when we were FaceTiming, he started to cry a little bit and I said "I love you so much buddy" and he said "I love you 6 feet apart" and the look on his face was so sad. It just broke my heart. That was hard.
Milo is such a fun kid! What is he currently into?
He is obsessed with sports! Thankfully the weather is getting better in Seattle because he gets bored VERY easily indoors. He loves anything social or interactive, he is literally the most social kid you will ever meet. Milo is really into playing football (go Hawks!), soccer, basketball and he can literally run forever. When he was 3 I used to take him to the track at the school field because he just wanted to run for hours. He's crazy! He's also very into video games like Mario Kart, Super Smash Bro's and Roblox. He even watches video's of other people streaming themselves playing Roblox. I don't understand that fascination at all, is this what getting old feels like?
Since having Milo back at the house, what have been some highlights of your families quarantine all together?
Spending lots of time together has been amazing. We have nowhere else to go since it's not safe to go out yet, so we spend time doing yard work and working on the garden, watching movies, playing board games, and going on walks. On nice days we will sit outside in the backyard and have "tea time" where I bring out the fancy tea cups and we just drink tea together and talk. Those are my favorite moments with him. We've even been working out together occasionally which has been a really cool bonding experience. He's definitely a good trainer, if I say “I'm tired” or “I can't do any more” he says "Yes you can, you're fine!" Lol thanks Milo! I do miss the alone time or the ability to go out, but I have to remember that someday he won't be able to spend this amount of time with me, or he just won't want to. I have to stay positive and see this time together as a blessing during a difficult time in the world.
Follow Aidan on Instagram: @aidanbeary
